You’re not a failure. You’re not wrong. And you’re not worthless.
There’s nothing wrong with you because you managed to “fall of the bandwagon,” yet again (even it is for the umpteenth time). You’re not broken just because you or your friends see something flawed in yourself that you can’t seem to fix. You’re not a failure because you think you should’ve (could’ve) done better at particular endeavor. You’re not weak or powerless because you gave into temptation (even after promising yourself you wouldn’t touch those damn cinnamon rolls again). Please don’t try to convince yourself that your life is a mess, you’ve lost all self-control, and you’re lonely in your struggles. And don’t you dare try to compare yourself to the friend who seems to have be living in a euphoria.
How can I convince you that you’re not a failure, you’re not wrong for the emotions you feel, and you’re not inferior to anyone because of it? How do I being to push you in the direction of realizing that these feelings are just all part of the process?
You already know about “the phases” we all go through in life. Whether you survived the tense teenage phase, makin’ it through the confusing college-life phase, or even if you’re well passed the temperamental 20’s phase, it doesn’t mean that you’re not going through a miniscule phase right now; a phase within a phase, if you will.
Maybe you’re beginning the phase of trying out a new relationship, and you feel fresh and excited. Maybe you’re in the phase of starting a new job, and life is a little stressful. Who knows, maybe you’re in the phase where everything just seems to be going your way, and life couldn’t be better! (Yes, that’s a phase, too!)
We tend to look at phases in a bigger picture. From childhood phase to the adult phase; from middle school phase to the college phase; from the minimum wage phase to the big 6-figures phase (or at least a more salaried 9-to-5 wage, for anyone not really dreaming that big). It’s easier to look at these transitions because from afar we can depict how we’ve grown in our mentality, habits, wisdom, etc. What we fail to see are the small stages in between that are taking place in order to get from point A to point B.
When we make an effort to understand which period we are in, we can mange our way through it slightly easier. We can appreciate it for what lessons it may bring, and what kind of light we will see at the end of the tunnel. This same idea works when we’re observing the “bigger stages” of our life. For example, the guy working at McDonald’s earning a minimum wage, doesn’t just wait until he’s given an opportunity to work a position earning 6-figures. There’s a light at the end of the tunnel which acts as his guide to that 6-figures. Obstacles throughout that tunnel will try to trip him. Road blocks are going to keep him from reaching that light, but if he can see past those bumps in the road, then he will make it through that tunnel’s darkness. He will finally reach that light at the end of the tunnel.
This is the same for anyone working toward a specific goal. And humbled are the ones who can appreciate their journey through that tunnel, the lessons they learned, and the hardship they endured to finally meet that light.
That’s why it’s important to understand which phase you’re at in that tunnel. It’s important to at least be mindful of it when the going gets tough because if we can be aware of where we are, and where we are going, the ride to getting there can be that much more graceful.
So if you’re struggling, you feel like you’re not in the right place, or not entirely happy with how things are going…just know that its temporary. You won’t be here forever, it’s just a phase – a small piece to the process of getting you where you want to be!
One of my favorite mottos that always helps me get passed the tough phases is this one by Maya Angelou…
Just a little food for thought on this gloomy Monday (well, at least here in The Mitten it’s really gloomy).
I’m working on my New Year’s Resolutions at the moment, so that should be posted up closer to the day. I hope everyone is off to a fantastic week, and had a wonderful holiday! ❤