You know what word I’m talking about…
You hear it everywhere, all the time. People throw it around left and right when they’re happy, when they’re sad, when they need something to fill the void. It doesn’t really do anything to help the situation, so it’s a pretty cheap word to use…you know the word…
The word seriously drives me crazy up the wall, through the roof, and off a cliff. I hate it. I hate it most when I refrain to it to describe how I’m feeling. Especially when I’m extremely happy but feel ashamed to express anything more than a “I’m good…I’m fine.” I know so many people feel this same way, too. It’s almost as if it’s rude to totally express how you feel unless the person asking How are you? feels the same way. Am I right?
But why?! Why don’t we allow ourselves to express how we truly feel? I think it would make us feel so much better if we actually started saying, “You know what, I woke up early, my coffee was hot and made to perfection, and the weather is absolutely gorgeous, so I feel fantastic today!” OR “Well, I woke up to the smell of my dog’s number 2 all over my carpet, I spilled coffee on my brand new shirt, and was late for my meeting, so today is just not my day.” There should be no need to hold in how we really feel just tell the truth!
In a way, the word is actually quite genius because when you’re fine, you really don’t have to do anything about it.
-Overweight and unhealthy, but your fine…well, it’s okay, right? Because you’re fine.
-Extremely stressed at work/school, and you really think you’re life is falling apart, but you tell everyone you’re fine…so you’re fine.
-You broke up with your significant other of 3 years, and really, you’re feeling pretty empty, but you told your friends and coworkers that you’re totally fine…so hey! Cool, it’s all good. You’re fine!
But you’re not fine!!!
All you’re doing is lying to yourself! You’re digging deeper into a hole that is taking you farther away from going after and getting what you want.
How about instead, be honest with yourself and say:
You know what, I’m heart broken and in need of friends/company to keep my mind away from the break up.
Or…I’m just really in need of a little help with certain projects, maybe some TLC and a complementary foot message, a glass of wine, and a day to organize myself. *And then do that.*
Or…I need to buy that gym membership/workout equipment and create a training schedule. Maybe I’ll get Becky to join me and we’ll start planning out how we can slowly make healthier choices.
See, at least now you’re being honest with yourself. You’re aware of the things you need to do to get what you want, and you’re more likely to take action. But the thing, I think, that stumps most people is the fact that being aware of these things makes us feel vulnerable. Thinking about turning that awareness into action can spark a feeling of doubt, or a feeling of laziness….I’m fine, I don’t need to workout. I’m fine, I don’t want to see anyone right now. I’m fine, I’ll figure it out. I know you know what I’m talking about. We all do this to some extent.
I understand that it takes time and practice. I know tough love can be…well…tough, but if you’re not going to be honest with yourself, no one else is going to either.
So that is why it needs to start with you.
It is going to take a little tough love to start being honest with yourself. It is going to take some vulnerability to start expressing how you really feel. And it is going to take some practice.
So without further ado, today I’ll admit: I feel under the weather, I feel chubby, and I feel a bit lonely because I miss my friends. But I’m grateful to be home from school with my family, safe and warm. And I’m excited to make blondies with my mom tonight.
Now…how are you today? *Comment below because I’d love to know! 🙂 <3*
[P.S: To give credit where it’s due, I paraphrased the idea of “fine” from Mel Robbins’ phenomenal TedTalk…you should check her out!!]